Once a hypocritical rebel child hell bent on finding purpose in this life. Now a saint saved by grace, abandoning his dreams to live for others.
Who I Was Before Christ:
I grew up in what I thought was a Christian home. My parents brought me to church; we certainly looked and acted the part. This is where I learned to keep the face of a Christian while living the life to get what I wanted. I was a punk. I had sex with women, partied, drank, smoked, vandalized and stole until my naive brain was content. It was a rush, there’s no doubt about that, but I was always thirsty for more. I treated my friends poorly, believing their purpose was to serve me. If they weren’t giving me what I wanted, then they didn’t mean a damned thing to me. In a nutshell, I lived a very hypocritical, unfulfilling life: Church-goer by day; rebel child by night; always looking for my next fix of adrenaline.
On December 27th, 2009, I attended a Bible study with a group of men I had grown up with in the church. That night, though, something hit. Going to this study, my intent was to maintain the look that I actually cared about my faith. One night, however, they called me out on the lifestyle I was choosing. They revealed to me that I had a lot of oppression, that I was living for evil, and that evil was living inside of me. Frankly, I was pissed. I didn’t like them calling me out like that. They offered to pray over me and my first thought was, “How do I fake this now?” As I grew more scared and was flooded with more doubt and questioning in my mind, my friend across from me began answering my questions in his prayers, as if he knew my thoughts. At that moment, I knew God was getting a hold of my life and that it was God speaking to me through my friend. I began to listen.
Who I Am Now:
After that night I knew what God was calling my life to. I knew, He wanted me to change my ways. I immediately stopped sleeping with women, stealing, partying, vandalizing. I started regularly attending a church with people my age and were serious about their faith. I started to form close relationships with men my age, and we held each other accountable for areas that we felt God was calling us to grow in. I am not perfect, but this life that Christ has led me toward is so much more incredibly freeing from the life I used to live. I would try so hard to find life; it was only after I gave up my life for Christ did I finally find that life I tried so hard to get. I no longer live that hypocritical life, but the rebel now soldiers on to a new, liberated drum.
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